September 24, 2008

Elitist Style

Oh, we're sailing in real style this month, my elite friends. Which is good since my last post for the Carnival was left ashore, alone and forlorn. We have commandeered a luxury liner and will be enjoying all the affectations of the truly snobbish. As I wander the decks I see only well dressed Elitist Bastards in their best dresses and suits. Well, except for those Saudis in theor best robes gathered up on the Aloha Deck.

Our first stop is a small private island where I run into an old friend. Dear dear Thurston. How have you been old friend? We have a game, us elitist Bastards. We like to play that old one where we call the other guy the elitist. How's that going, Thurston? You don't say. That bad, eh? Wow, you got that egghead professor on the run! Cheerio old boy!

Ah, senator! We know you've been playing that game, haven't you? Yes, and he only has one house! What's that game you're playing now? Ha, ha! "Got-your-American-flag-lapel button" indeed! Oh, yes, senator. You had me on that one, to be sure. Quick, how many cars do you have? Nah! Just kidding. Oh, I know. That was rude of them to bring up the 3 foreign jobbies. Of course there's no press here senator. I know, I know. They keep asking all those questions. Oh, I know senator, I know you don't answer many of them. Good for you, I say. What do they think this is? We can't have some inexperienced person in the White House, now can we? Someone with almost no foreign policy experience. What kind of elitists would we be if we allowed just some... Oh, yes. So sorry. Hey! Do that pirate face for me one more time!

There you go! Yes. Arrrrgh. Ha, ha! Yes, yes senator. Oh yes, pirates every time sir. Not those ninja wannabes, no never. Thank you, senator! Yes, I thought that whole "Straight Talk Express" thing was hilarious too. I get the irony too. Since you, you know, don't answer many questions with the media and all...
What? No! No, no, no! Don't throw me off the...AHHHHHHHH!